The following article is collection of Jireenya Badhaatu’s FB page posts
I am attracted to opposite gender, what shall I do?
Indeed test of opposite gender is difficult thing. Passing it, is great victory and honour. At same time falling this test is disgrace and depression. But what shall you do when internal force drives you toward opposite gender.
1. Struggle against your nafs (soul)– as it is said best jihad is jihad against vain desires. “As you fight against your enemies, fight against your base desires.” Maalik ibn Dinaar. If the internal enemy is not defeated, external enemy can’t be defeated. As much as you can, suppress your nefs (soul) from going near opposite gender. When your inner says to you, “Go and speak to her/him, no problem just talk, you will not do any bad things, do good things for him/her you will get reward, say just hi…” Then you say, “Be silent, A’uzubillahi mina sheytaani rajiim, No! Insha Allah I never do, go away from me…”
2. Zikr (remembrance of Allah)- the more you make more zikr, the more you are protected from sheytan (Satan). “A tempting thought from Satan is, then, a cause of blindness while the remembrance of Allah is a cause of opening eyes and hearts. Satan’s thoughts send people into darkness and turning to Allah gives them light. When people equip themselves with following divine guidance, Satan can have no power over them. “
3. Lowering gaze
4. Increasing fear and love of Allah – increase love and fear of Allah through reading Qur’aan, tafakkur (contemplating over heavens, earth and what between them), remembering His favours upon you such as protecting you from evils and granting you Islam. Mujaahid (may Allah have mercy on him) said, “I don’t know whether being guided to Islam or protected from following vain desire is greater grace” When you think over this grace of Islam, you be grateful to Allah and love Him. In this way, you decrease attachment to creatures
5. Do good deeds– the more you do good deeds and ask Allah forgiveness, the more you love Allah. When you believe truly and do good deeds sincerely, you will get what He promised in the Qur’an those who do good deeds. “Qur’an reveals its secrets to those who strive to implement it.”
“Whoever does righteousness, whether male or female, while he is a believer – We will surely cause him to live a good life, and We will surely give them their reward [in the Hereafter] according to the best of what they used to do.” Surat An-Nahl:97
6. Remembering consequence of intermingling with opposite gender – remember how you lose peace of mind when you intermingle with opposite gender. Remember, how you become far away from Allah and draw closer to sheytan, and then fall to his poisoning trap. Remember and think over many evils that result from mixing with opposite gender!
7.Planning time – connect this world with hereafter. Do you know when you’re elevated and live life of honour and peace? It’s when you think and strive for hereafter (Aakhira). When you do this, you see this life from airplane flying in atmosphere. A person lives life of depression and worry when he clings to this world forgetting Hereafter. When you work for both worlds, the opportunity of sheytan (Satan) tempting you decreases! So by planning your time and working hard, you can decrease attachment to creatures. Never forget Aakhira. It is when you forget Aakhira, you live life of worry!
7. Du’aa – always making du’aa (supplication) pushes you upward. Ask Allah to protect you from evils. Indeed you never ever protect yourself from evils unless Allah protects you. So how don’t you ask Him for protection? How do you flee from du’aa? By making much du’aa, you can decrease attraction toward opposite gender.
I can’t sleep at night, what shall I do?
Sleep is among blessing of Allah. Due to lack of sleep or oversleep, many diseases such as insomnia are widespread. So if you have trouble with sleep what shall you do? Follow these steps
1: run away from sins– committing sin is main cause of loss of sleep. What you have done in the day, distort and disturb your mind at night. If you watch movies, pornography, don’t blame anyone for loss of sleep other than yourself. So #1 step is to stay away from sins whether minor or major.
2. Doing as many good deeds as possible by seeking pleasure of Allah. Nothing can give you peace of mind, tranquility, and calmness more than seeking pleasure of Allah while doing good deeds. You sleep in tranquil, when others are disturbed. You walk in the day in tranquil while others are confused. So #2 step to get peace of mind in the day and at night is to do good deeds while seeking pleasure of Allah. Because tranquility and peace come from Allah. If you seek people’s pleasure, you will lose peace of mind and tranquility
3. when night falls, don’t eat and drink mind stimulators such as coffee, tea, chocolate, and etc unless you have more work to do. Don’t eat and drink much when going to sleep.
4: Read good books when going to sleep
5. after going to sleep, don’t think over wishful thinking. When wishful thinking cross your mind, seek refuge in Allah. Recite du’aa such as from the end of sura al-Baqara.
6. When sleep doesn’t come on time, don’t disturb your mind. Stand and take ablution (wudu’u) and then pray salah. Then come back. When sleep doesn’t come if you watch movies, you disturb your mind and stay the night without sleep. In this way you lose peace of mind. Rather than watching movie, pray 3 raka’a (unit of prayer)
7. If you have time in the day, take a midday nap for half an hour or an hour.
8. When you haven’t slept enough hour, try your best not to think over sleep in the day. Focus on your tasks.