Removing obstacles from Marriage way-P1

Let us review what we saw in the past 6 series concerning marriage proposal. When we choose our best future friend, our first criterion must be Imaan(faith). Why? Because iman is the strongest bond that can connect two persons. It makes them have the same goal. It restrains them from going out of marriage to fulfil thier desires. But lust and worldly gain fade up like clothes. They don’t keep the person from seeking another partner. Rather, they intense the lusts. We should ask ourselves,”Does he/she suit me with the respect of Imaan? Do I suit her/him with the respect of İmaan?, Why do I love him/her?…” If our imaan is weak, we should seek the way to uplift it. While doing this, be careful. You should uplift your Imaan to gain the pleasure of Allah but not to marry any one. If your intention is to marry someone through increasing your imaan, he/she may refuse you. Then you slide down. So let our intention be for the sake of Allah. In sha Allah, He gives us good spouse. Still now you are undergoing marriage proposal. You have understood why you choose your spouse. You are laying down the foundation of marriage. So make your marriage foundation strong by choosing a good spouse who has imaan and good character. Make du’a so that Allah helps you in this process. Now let us say you have chosen your spouse and enter into marriage World. After you entered into the marriage world different problems arise. How can you face them? Many times before getting married, we wish to build a great marriage empire. We should know the rules and principles to build this great empire. For the time being, I take these rules from a book called,” 20 Surprisingly Simple Rules and Tools for a Great Marriage” I don’t take all ideas and rules because some are inappropriate for our discussion. I put the ideas that I have taken from the book in quotation marks (“….”)
Rule 1 MAKE YOUR SPOUSE A PRIORITY – before marriage, we think how we love and put our spouse at first list. But sometime later, after marriage, love and relationships are getting weakened. What is the reason behind this? Man or woman becomes busy with other things. They have no time to value each other. They go out at the morning and come home at the evening. Even in the night the become busy with worthless things such TV and internet. They don’t speak to each other as they speak to their friends. Tv and internet are there more concern than their marriage. They don’t make fun with their spouse. When couples don’t value each other, they would seek another partner. They want a person who makes them feel loved and valued.
“Practice
1.Tell your spouse that she is at the top of your list and promise her that you won’t let anything push her from that rightful position.
2.Next time your spouse asks you to do something, do it with no excuse, procrastination, or complaint. 3.Ask your spouse how you can pray for him during the day, and then commit to doing it.
4.Set the alarm fifteen minutes early so you can cuddle up together and talk about the day ahead before you have to get up.”
I can add another good practice.
Make Du’a for your spouse- Indeed, even for ourselves making Du’a is being difficult in these days. We don’t care about the power of du’a. We rush to the worldly affairs as soon as we finish our salah(Muslim Prayers). We should make du’a for ourselves and spouses. İndeed making du’a strengthen your love and relationship. Because du’a wipes away hatred and envy from heart. When you say,”O Allah forgive me and my spouse,make me and her/him among mutaqun and muklisun (those who have taqwaa and sincerity)”,what do you feel? You love him/her when you say this. If your spouse becomes among mutaquun and muklisun what do you want from him/her?
Smile to each other
O Allah make us among those whose words agree with their deeds. Make us practice what we learn and know.

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