Do not interfere in matters that do not concern you

Workshop… Struggling against yourself to free yourself from interfering in others’ affairs is exhausting in the beginning, but easy in the end.


“From the excellence of one’s Islam is to leave that which does not concern him.” How beautiful is this expression, especially if you were to hear it from the righteous and pure mouth of the Messenger of Allah – may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him! Yes, to leave that which does not concern him! How many are those cumbersome people who bother you by interfering in matters that do not concern them? They bother you when they see your watch, “How much did you buy this for?” You reply, “This was given to me as a gift”. Then they would say, “A gift? From whom?” You reply, “From a friend.” He would continue, “Your friend from the university? Or your locality? Or elsewhere?” You reply, “Well, a friend of mine from the university.” He keeps pressing, “Okay, but what was the occasion?” You respond, “Well, an occasion, from our university days.”

He then says, “Yes, but what occasion in particular? Graduation? Or when you went on a trip? Or something else?” He would continue to ask you questions about an utterly worthless matter! I ask you, by Allah, wouldn’t you feel like shouting at him, saying, “Do not interfere in that which does not concern you!’ And even worse is if he were to put you in an awkward situation by asking you an embarrassing question in public!

Likewise, if you were to visit a patient and ask him about his illness, and he were to reply vaguely, “al-Hamdulillah, nothing major, just minor illness”, and such expressions that do not explicitly answer the question, do not embarrass him by persisting on asking detailed questions, such as, “I am sorry, but what exactly is the illness? Please clarify what you said” and so on. Why the need to embarrass him? From the excellence of one’s Islam is to leave that which does not concern him. I mean, are you really waiting for him to tell you, “I have haemorrhoids”, or “I have an injury, in an embarrassing place”, etc? As long as he gave you a vague response, there is no need to ask him for details. I do not mean that he should not question the patient about his illness. What I mean is that one should not ask detailed questions about another’s illness.

Another example of this is a person who called out to a student in front of all the people in a public gathering, and asked in a loud voice, “Hey! Ahmad! Did you pass?” Ahmad said, “Yes’. He asked, “What percentage? What grade?” If he truly cared for him, he would have asked him when he was alone. There was also no need to go into details by asking “What percentage? Why didn’t you revise? Why weren’t you accepted in the university?” If he was really ready to help him, then he could have taken him to the side and spoken to him about whatever he liked. But as for displaying his dirty laundry in public, then that certainly was not genuine! The Prophet(SAW) said, “From the excellence of one’s Islam is to leave that which does not concern him.”

Source: Enjoy Your Life by Dr Muhammad Al Arifi page 191-195

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